You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
