Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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