who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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