life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
