Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
