We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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