eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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