pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize