I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
