So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He better not be in your backpack
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize