My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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