I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
