Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize