he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
