turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
