what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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