It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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