I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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