It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
