I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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