Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize