Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize