Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
