the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
