apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
