this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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