I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
