Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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