C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
