his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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