you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize