I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
