Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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