OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
