Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
