i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
