God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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