I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
