You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
