What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
