just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
