Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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