Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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