You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
