Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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