So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
