I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
