thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
