why didn't you poke me back
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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