You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
