Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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