Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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