Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
