As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
