Too much gin, very little bucket
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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