If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
