Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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