either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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