Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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