whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
