you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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