Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
