I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
