The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize